Maithuna Ritual
Maithuna or tantric sex is one of the most intriguing and mysterious moments of tantra. There are numerous texts describing this ritual, which are full of symbolism, Sanskrit terms and quotes from the ancient books that are difficult to understand. It is also possible to find guides to various techniques and positions that are introduced as tantric sex. Here it is important to note that despite the endless sources of such literature and general awareness of lovemaking techniques, modern people still encounter problems with emotional intimacy, which is one of the most important parts of maithuna. The majority of us simply do not know how to open up and are afraid of close emotional contact with our partners.
As I have been practicing maithuna with my tantric partner under the guidance of our coach for a few years already I will try to tell what is it all about.
Maithuna starts long before the actual sexual connection takes place. It begins with spiritual practices and meditation, where you learn feeling your energy and managing it. You train your attention and concentration, develop your emotional world.
The actual Maithuna ritual does not start with the sexual contact – the common foreplay: caressing, kissing, etc.
What really matters in maithuna is your state of mind, i.e. the refined mutual worshiping of each other. The partners meet not just as a man and a woman, but as a God and a Goddess. In order to tune in with this state of mind you would need that special atmosphere: candles, music, incense, fresh flowers, divine images – these are the elements of the ritual helping you to create this special world and leave the ordinary level. The tantric communication starts with a conversation, tender words, eye contact, mutual compliments and light touches.
Shakti is the embodiment of charm, she is dressed elegantly and sexy, she wears make up. Thanks to her beauty and charming manners she awakes passion and aesthetic feelings in her partner simultaneously. Shiva is the embodiment of generosity and masculinity. He emphasizes it with flowers and gifts to his goddess. This refined game helps both of you to tune in and feel emotionally comfortable to open up toward each other.
When you start caressing, your main task is to awaken as much of your sexual energy as possible, while maintaining the meditative state of mind, observing your breath and energy flow in yourself and your partner. The practicing that you have been doing before maithuna helps to develop a very high level of sensitivity in you, letting you to fearlessly open your heart toward another person and your own sexuality.
Osho said once - a person when having sex often “masturbates with the partner”. This happens because normally a man and a woman can not relax and open their hearts. Each partner keeps being inside of his or her invisible “shell” made of subconscious angst, diffidence, thoughts and reactions. This leads to lowering the sensitivity, blocking of the sexual muscles and therefore inability to orgasm.
Tantra practice helps to solve these issues. You go out of your “shell” and start feeling your partner’s body as your own. That is why when you practice tantra you become an incredibly good lover! The technique is not the point! The point is that your body knows how to pleasure your partner to the maximum. Your body feels and lives all the nuances of the bliss together with your partner.
My boyfriend and I started from the ordinary sex, which as we initially thought was mutually satisfying and gradually replaced it with tantric practice. After two years we acknowledged that finally we realized what sexual intimacy really is.
When the energy level is high enough you move on to the sexual intercourse. During which you totally relax, open your hearts and souls toward your partner. Both of you give in yourselves to that wonderful sensations, which are filling your bodies. At the same time you keep the meditative state of mind and follow your breath and the energy flows. Your mind is free from imagination, you are totally in the now enjoying the delight and meditation. These two states of mind enrich themselves a lot. Many spiritual Masters noted that a human being experiences the sensations that are close to that of orgasmic feeling during the deep meditation. You are filled with love and worship your partner. You experience the intimacy as a coition with a shining deity. The emotion you are living at that time is far from a common sentimentality or romantics – it is close to a religious feeling.
Meanwhile your bodies keep loving each other, you start to raise the awakened sexual energy up your spine, directing it from the tailbone to the third eye area and crown of head. Traditionally the main role here is played by the man, as he is the embodiment of will and controlling power. He helps his partner to raise the energy. Meanwhile the woman is the ocean of the awakened energy of passion. The main element of maithuna is raising the Kundalini energy (sexual energy). Transforming the sexual energy into finer substances is exactly the moment of tantric alchemy. This energy activates all the chakras and therefore contributes to developing siddhi, i.e. paranormal abilities.
Ejaculation control is another important element of tantric sex. The man does not lose his semen during maithuna, as during orgasm thanks to his will and determination in training certain muscles he controls his ejaculation. So the ejaculation and orgasm separate from each other. This helps the man not to lose his energy as it usually happens during the ordinary sex. At the same time orgasm is still there and it goes beyond the genitals area and become a whole body orgasm.
Ejaculation control technique is widely known in the West. Many men consider it to be the main element of the tantric sex and learn this technique, which of course allows prolonging sexual intercourse experiences, hence helping them to become better lovers. However as mentioned earlier, maithuna is not just this. There is a great deal of energy, emotional and spiritual work involved, which tremendously enhances the tantric experience for both partners. Talking “good and great lovers” terms this is exactly what makes the huge difference to their partner’s experience.
Maithuna ritual significantly increases the energy level of both partners (another difference from the ordinary sex especially for men). It is therefore important to close it with redistributing the newly gained energy and directing it to achieving a certain goal: you can do energy exercises, explore your creativity in various ways (painting, writing, etc) or meditate. Regardless what practice you take, it will be noticeably more effective than usual.
